The irony that cross stitch is actually calming – i’m not cross at all when i stitch…

Hello all!

Well, what a week! The last couple of weeks have been quite challenging for me personally. BUT, this is not a ‘nat moan blog’ so I shall try not to ‘babble away’ and simply ‘get to the point’ (again irony – needlepoint…no…?)

So – I’ll say a little bit about the last couple of weeks, just to give an overview (hopefully) of why I have been cross (mainly at myself) frustrated, helpless, hopeless, depressed and at times thoughtful….

Basically, I’ve had to pull out of work for a little while  – a combination of reasons, but largely to do with my ‘disorder demons’ creeping back in to suffocate me and my life… I’ve also found myself getting more and more low in mood/weight and more ‘rigid’ in my eating disorder ways/thoughts. I’ve become (In no uncertain terms) isolated again and although I do try and push myself to see people or do things, this is very much a push, which makes me feel very guilty, especially when people travel to me or take time to see me. Equally, I’m in such a state I worry all I do is moan, not much company!! My health, my appearance, my future, my mood – they’re all spiralling – my therapist said its like a ‘merry go round’ which I need to find how to get off – I can see what she means and I wish I could because, for me and those around me it’s far from merry!

HOWEVER – through these bad periods I have had ‘rays of light’, largely due to amazing people in my life, but also this project going from strength to strength gives me hope/a buzz. rejoining my volunteer role (knitting organiser so still creative), seeking support from the local team, doing yoga with the amazing Sian AND VIP – CROSS STITCHING!

I am realising what a resource it is, I find I can lose myself for hours, especially with a good film on too, I feel a sense of productivity/achievement (ok I still berate it/myself at times- poor design skills/messy stitcher/should be doing something else/lazy) but generally its a positive part of my evening. This is great as I can hopefully create another square, save myself from negative cycles a bit and potentially even encourage others to do the same 🙂

Its always good to hear if others find cross stitch helpful and why, so hopefully this will feature in the overall SOS production! 🙂

Advertisements

2 responses to “The irony that cross stitch is actually calming – i’m not cross at all when i stitch…

  1. Annalise

    I admire your openness … at times we all stuggle and your struggle sounds very familiar. It is hard to feel like you are going round in (ever-decreasing) circles and easy to berate yourself … but try to acknowledge the things you ARE currently able to do and set little achievable targets for yourself each day … sometimes mine are VERY basic!! I tend to isolate too on ‘dark’ days … so I try to go out whenever possible to places where there is no pressure to be sociable. Just out for a (gentle!) walk in the sunshine by myself lifts my mood, and although it can take some motivating of myself to actually get out the door, I do feel better for it. I take my camera to record the little things I see that make me smile, (today someone flying a kite!), it reminds me that life is there to be enjoyed! Keep talking to your ‘team’ and try to stay in contact with the people in your life who love and care from you, (if face-to-face is not possible, I like to use ‘snail-mail’) … they are there to help and watch over you … allow yourself to do the things you enjoy, like cross-stitch … and most importantly try to hold onto hope …

  2. just been reading your blog nat! its so great. plus I like it when my name pops up! ha!.xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: